Here’s a letter dedicated to the future me (if I make it to see my 25th birthday which obviously I will).
Hey there you! I bet by now you’ve probably forgotten that you even wrote this and you’re laughing at yourself wondering if you’ve become everything your 17-year-old self imagined you to be.
IF YOU HAVEN’T RIDDEN AN OSTRICH YET, I’m gonna be so pissed.
Please, please, please, PLEASE tell me you still exercise at least 5 days a week. Ones body is a preciously prized possession and I hope and pray you’ve been taking care of it. In my mind I picture a strong woman with an average of 18 percent or less body fat. Yes, i know that’s insane to picture, but remember you’ve been working your whole life to be fit and healthy. Come on, no excuses! It’s been 8 years, by now you should’ve ran a marathon or to. Or at least even a half marathon and a half iron man.
Your accomplishments should stretch further than just graduating college with a degree and getting a job. (by the way, congratulations on finishing college, if you did that is. I could easily see you not completing college and following whatever these things are that people call dreams.) I hope whatever you ended up studying has been fulfilling to you. Hell I hope you took the leap and studied what you actually wanted to study. If not, I pray that you at least find it in your heart to go back out there into the world and seek to find your passion.
So… about those student loans though? Tell me you’re not in debt. S’il vous plait tell me you made sure you followed that plan you wrote out when you were 17. Remember what the plan was? It was to live within your means and forget consumerism and materialism. It was to spend this thing called money on experiences and things that ACTUALLY mattered. I’m sure you followed it though. I’m sure you’re better at smacking your hand before making unnecessary purchases.
Do you still have the urge to travel? Do you still find it difficult and incapacitating to stay in one place? Do your eyes still yearn to see this vast world or has that craving died out from within?
How’s the French coming along? Shooo. I’m guessing you’ve completely mastered that and have decided to move onto something else like German or Arabic. You just can’t get satisfied can you? Quadrilingual wasn’t enough for you, was it?
So are you doing TED talks now or what? I’m sure you’ve got hella ideas that you’re sitting on. Go spread them (not your legs).
If you’re married already and it isn’t to who I think it is, then your childhood friends owe you $1,000. That bet sounds super sweet now doesn’t it? Girl, go get your money! (Once you do, plan a special trip for your parents. Preferably somewhere where dad can’t find any Adventist churches and conferences to go work at instead of vacationing. Make sure you convince mom wholeheartedly until she says yes. Trust me, she is going to give excuses such as work, but do not let her. Even after she says yes, make sure to get Dad to drag Mom into going, adds to the experience.)
STOP! We will resume regular programming after you thank your parents for everything. Sit them down and just genuinely thank them for all they have done. Thank them for their support and proper upbringing. Make sure you appreciate every decision they have ever made. Speak to them about their beauty and how as they age, their wrinkles remind you of their sacrifice. Tell them of how their words still spill out wisdom and knowledge. Just tell them and tell them EVERYTHING. What do you have to hold back on now? There are no more spankings or punishments so no need to take your secrets to the grave.
Back to where we were. If you are married, who the heck is putting up with you? He deserves an award. Anyways, I hope that whoever you are married to is someone you would trust your ENTIRE life to. I pray that he inspires you to help others and causes you to see the good, and ONLY the good in the world. If he causes you to feel content, question that. You’ve never been one to feel content; progression and growth was always your sermon. Plus, he should be a little adventurous and spontaneous (if you know what I mean. I mean he should know when not to be a gentleman).
I’m curious, is he fit, like suuuper fit? Is he tall, like 5’9″ and above or are you no longer that shallow? Does he sing or better yet play any instruments? If everyday with him doesn’t make you feel like you’re reliving your childhood then fix it. No such thing as divorce. There is beauty to be found even in Lucifer himself.
Enough about the man in your life (if there is one). Let’s talk about you. Have you freed your mind yet? Freed it from all the insecurities and irrelevant competition?
Have you finally truly discovered religion or are you still searching and avoiding church on Saturdays?
Chef Esther in the building? Yeaaahhh. Always knew you wouldn’t lose touch of cooking and food.
That patience though? Hahaha how’s your patience these days? Do you resort to anger or try to solve things peacefully?
I hope the words you speak reflect who you truly are. At 17, your mind raced faster than you could speak and often times you ended up saying things you didn’t mean. How you meant it in your mind and how you spoke were two completely different things. You always found it hard to vocalize your true emotions and thoughts. And your shyness slowly got a hold of you at those awkward moments. So if you’re still not comfortable with your speaking skills, I challenge you to do something that scares you. Speak loud, speak out, and TRUST YOURSELF.
As cliche as this sounds, I hope you’ve found the happiness that is described in this quote:
“Maybe happiness is this: not feeling like you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else”.
(I’d be beyond surprised if you’re not into quotes anymore. Very disappointed actually.)
May that acne no longer exist and may your hair never define you. May your curiosities lead you to explore things on your own. May politics cease to cross your mind (yeah don’t vote if you don’t even know who’s running and their policies. What the hell, I’m sure you’ve already done that.) May sunsets forever allure you (what does allure even mean). May your feet only tread on paths that don’t cause other people pain and suffering. May you live as carefree as you can be. May you take opportunities that come and create your own when there are none. May mornings become your favorite part of your day and not your dreams. May your artistic abilities be used, please create and continue to create. May you treat others better than you would treat yourself. May your chapattis BE ROUND and your ugali JUST RIGHT! May money not govern your life but God (or whoever).
May you live long and prosper.
DO MORE! Always do more.
Sincerely, your 17-year-old self.