Everyone wants to be loved right? We firstly experience this tender warmth when placed on our mothers breasts for the first time. Then we spend the rest of our lives attempting to recreate this feeling in our interpersonal relationships. But what happens when the baseline of love meant to be shown to you by your mother never felt complete? Then you spend the rest of your life pleasing others in hopes that their love will be deep enough to somehow fulfill the indentations.
It’s clearly evident however, that contentment will not take place in these relationships for you’ll strive to make them love you, instead of allowing them to decide to give you love. (Let’s count how many times I use the word “love” in this.) The individuality and confidence in oneself has been routed in ones mind to relate the act of pleasing as a measure to gain love. So naturally the other subject will equate their satisfaction to being pleased by you. This creates a very detrimental cycle where you live with no backbone pleasing everyone that comes your way in hopes that they will provide you with a mother’s love.
Repelling against the nature of habit requires a complete shift in thought processing which takes a long time. But, step one begins with rejecting your self taught tendencies and facing reconciliation. Feelings will be hurt, but at least the cycle will not continue down for generations to come.