Seek within yourself Esther.
Why do you need somebody to cut off the string for you when the scissors are in your hand?
Strolling casually backwards into the past. I know what resides there, why dare return?
The urge to revisit that which was once undeniably comfortable has so strongly captured me. I think, “wait no, you’ve been there before, trust me you don’t want that.” Body over mind, heart over streams of salty tears drained in PAIN.
Stuck between progression and stagnancy. (Scratch that, stagnancy would represent me still being in that state which would be a fallacy.) Stuck between resistance and compliance.
Which shall I choose?
If I conform, I’ll surely regret it. If I resist, I’ll probably regret not knowing what could’ve been different.
Decisions are so unfaithful. Whichever one you choose contains a core of regret. Be faithful to me for once. Bear me peace of mind instead of a piece of regret.
That’s why I hate you adulthood. You have got me making my own decisions and I forgot to prepare for that. I must’ve missed all your classes because I was too busy earnestly waiting for you. Wonder why I ever waited for confusion, uncertainty, and submission.
Perhaps one day I’ll learn to decide to cut off the strings so that I’m no longer attached to them. My actions shall no longer be dictated by the puppeteer.
Be motionless Esther.
For trying to beat resistance and boxing with compliance results in neither being achieved.