I’ve come to realize that my hurt reciprocates to others. Though I may not desire it, instinctively, it happens. I’ve got to fight everything in me to withhold from pouring forth the pain in me onto others.
Well, quite frankly I probably don’t try hard enough. While there’s always room for improvement, healing has to take place first.
Flashback to about 10 minutes ago when I snapped at my sister. Easily, I could’ve found it in me to react patiently and lovingly. But no, my feelings, my joy, and my opinion were the only thing that mattered at that moment.
Through this journey of being authentic to others, I’ve learned that I must first be honest with myself.
So, my name is Esther and I am selfish. (Feeling like I’m at an AA meeting haha.)
I must learn to not succumb to my selfish desires. For what will I have left if all I do is look after myself and not others? How can I be so quick to hurt others, but even quicker to victimize myself when they hurt me?